Jewish women talking about Torah and the lived experience of our Judaism.
Tonia Chazanow: Wait. Before you continue on to today's episode, I have something to share, which is that the Human & Holy Resource Center is live. Pause this podcast. Take a second. Go visit humanandholy.com to check out our shoppable Tefillah collection for four beautiful resources for you to deepen your own connection with prayer. All proceeds from this resource center go directly towards fueling the mission of Human & Holy.
Each of our items is going to come in custom, gorgeous Human & Holy packaging. First 50 orders get a free Human & Holy bumper sticker. And I really think that each of these items will be so valuable to you in enhancing your own experience of prayer. Check it out. Humanandholy.com. The Tefillah collection is live right now.
[Musical Interlude]
Hello. I'm Tonia, and you are listening to Human & Holy. A podcast where we discuss the deepest parts of Torah. Not just as scholars, but also as human beings. Today's episode is part of Human & Holy's extended series on Tefillah.
In the first episode, we heard from Terri Klein about talking to G-d even when you don't feel worthy. Next, we had Adi Bitter speaking all about the siddur, a woman's halachic obligation to the words of the Siddur and the deeper meaning behind some of the prayers, along with some practical tools for how to implement davening from a siddur in your daily life.
Next, we had Shana Alayev, talking about praying to G-d even in the most difficult of circumstances. And how to wrestle with feeling like your prayers are not necessarily being answered in the way you want them to.
Next week, for our final episode in the Tefillah series, we are going to close with a gorgeous farbrengen about Tefillah.
And today, I am going to take you on a journey through some Chassidic sources on prayer. We're going to talk about feeling the dialogue with Hashem, the asking and the response. We're going to talk about how prayer can be an opportunity for us to really cultivate a daily spiritual clarity and how we could then maintain that clarity throughout the day. We are also going to explore the Lubavitcher Rebbe's favorite prayer, a small but mighty prayer that many of us say every single morning.
Collecting and revisiting these sources was a really special process for me. Chassidus is magic. It illuminates the heart and soul of every part of our Judaism. So, come along with us on a journey through prayer from the perspective of Chassidus.
[Musical Interlude]
There's a beautiful story and lesson that I heard attributed to Adin Steinsaltz. He says he was davening Shemoneh Esrei one day and his daughter was tugging on him incessantly. When he finally finished, she asked, "Who were you talking to?" He said, "Hashem."
She was like, "Oh, you're talking to Hashem? What did he say? What did he tell you? What did he respond?" And he was stumped. What did Hashem respond? Was this a conversation? Or was this a monologue? And then he talks about how that's what Tefillah is all about. Hearing Hashem's response. Listening for the conversation. Approaching our Tefillah. Knowing that this is not a monologue, but a dialogue. It's a conversation.
And in a conversation, each party opens up to the other. The human being opens up to G-d about their needs. And G-d opens up to the human being about His perspective on the world. About the spiritual perspective on everything that's going on.
In a sicha about Tefillah, the Lubavitcher Rebbe talks about the two sides of this conversation. You have the human opening up and asking Hashem for their needs, which the Rebbe calls Bakashas Tzrachav. And you have Hashem opening up to unite with us, to show us His perspective on the world. You have Dveykus, union with Hashem from Hashem's perspective.
So technically, prayer is flowing in two different directions. On the one hand, we're approaching Hashem, opening up, being vulnerable, asking for help and for our needs and wants to be met. And we're basically asking Hashem to come down and see the world from our perspective.
And on the other hand, Dveykus flows in the other direction. Dveykus is Hashem opening up to you and asking you to see the world from His perspective. To come and connect to Him, and His wants, and His dreams for the world and His desires. Hashem is saying, "Come up and see the world from My perspective."
One is Milimata L’maaleh, a human being turning to G-d and asking for their needs to be met. And the other is Milimailah Limatah, Hashem turning to the human being and showing her His perspective on the world. Hopefully, my ability to be vulnerable with Hashem and tell Him what I need and want helps me step out of my own world and hear Hashem's response and be open to Hashem's perspective. When I am able to tap into what I need and to share that with Hashem, I become softer. I become more open. And I listen for the response. I want this to be a conversation. I want us to both share what's going on.
And one very practical thing I think that happens when we enter into this dialogue with the awareness that this is a two-way conversation, is that all of our requests come with context. I'm talking to the Source of all things. I'm talking to Hashem. I'm not just sending my desires out into the universe. I'm talking directly to the Master of the world and Hashem is listening, and He is responding to me.
And another thing that happens is that it sharpens my needs. There's something about expressing something to another person that helps us sharpen what we really want. And specifically, when we're talking to Hashem on that soul level as human beings, it helps us maintain our perspective and to really tap into what we truly want. And I don't mean what we truly want means that we don't want anything physical. But it means that we might get more in touch with what I actually want versus what society tells me I want to want.
And when I'm talking to Hashem and I'm actually in a conversation with Hashem, everything comes with a more radical honesty. And I'm going to dig. And I'm going to be a hundred percent authentic. And I'm not going to put on a show. And maybe I'll find that there's things I didn't think I needed that I actually really do need and things I thought I needed that really don't matter to me at all. Something about expressing our needs in the context of our Creator and actually believing that Hashem is listening and that there is a response and this is a conversation helps me access my truest needs.
In another even deeper thing that happens, when I express my needs in this context, I’m recognizing that there are two parts of this conversation. There's me sharing my very human needs and wants with Hashem. And there's Hashem showing His perspective on the world. I begin to see how all my needs being met are actually opportunities for me to further reinforce Hashem's presence in the world.
I begin to see how my needs being met are not actually selfish, but they are tools that I can use to shine my light outward and to impact the world. If I need more help in my home and I'm just lying in bed feeling anxious, it's just like, "Oh, my gosh! I'm never going to have enough help. I'm overwhelmed. It's a one-sided monologue of ever-increasing anxiety that's happening within my own head.
But if I come to talk to Hashem to daven and I say, "Hashem, I need more help in my home," and I am also connecting to Hashem's perspective on the world while very much tapping into my human needs, I begin to see how Hashem giving me more help in my home, me having more expansiveness with my time. Me being calmer. Me being less worn out from cleaning. These are just opportunities for me to give more deeply to the world.
But let's be real for a second. While I definitely have had those moments of clarity where I'm able to access this understanding that I am in a relationship with Hashem and that everything Hashem gives me I can give back to the world. And every piece of gashmius and abundance in my life is an opportunity to channel G-d's presence.
When I am just going about my day, it can be difficult to access that clarity. And the point of all of Tefillah, the point of prayer, is that when you go out into the world, you can remember the Dveykus that you came from. You could remember the union that you had with G-d. You could remember the G-d that this entire physical world is oriented towards.
We want to be able to enjoy the physical world within the context of G-d. We want to be able to appreciate our needs being met within the context of our purpose in this world. We want to maintain clarity as we go through life. Because if that moment of clarity is completely fleeting and there's nothing to hold on to, how is it actually going to make a difference in how I react to my life?
In Chapter 13 of Tanya, The Alter Rebbe talks about Tefillah as the moment of clarity that the Beinoni experiences every single day. And although the extreme clarity leaves her, the extreme clarity of G-d being at the center of everything, of identifying with her G-dly soul, of wanting to make choices that further align her with her G-dly soul, the memory of that clarity carries her. And the memory of that clarity is something that she continuously taps into as she goes throughout her day.
It took me learning this Perek of Tanya, I do not know how many times, until I actually recognized how life-changing this concept could be. I was focusing on other ideas in the Perek, which are very beautiful, and that I won't get into now. But I wasn't honing in on what the Alter Rebbe was emphasizing about prayer.
And when it finally clicked for me, I was like, "Oh! This is why prayer is so central to Chassidic life. This is why we make such a big deal about preparing for prayer, about prioritizing prayer, about utilizing prayer as a time to really meditate and connect to G-d." Because without prayer, I have nothing to tap into throughout the day.
And though that awareness might not have made me start davening for hours every single day, it did make me prioritize a moment in the morning to orient myself towards my soul. To access the clarity that all of us have inside and give it a moment to breathe. Give my soul a moment to shine. Because I began to realize that if I didn't have that tiny moment of clarity every single morning, then there was no chance of feeling like a spiritual being throughout the day. Because we live in a very physical world. Life is stressful. Life is hectic. It's hard to believe that G-d has our back at all times when things are going wrong.
What am I tapping into when I'm struggling? What am I tapping into when I'm in the thick of it? When it's the afternoon? When it's hours after that clarity? I'm tapping into that memory of the clarity. I'm saying, "I might not be feeling the clarity right now, but I know this morning there was a part of me that wanted to be connected to G-d. There was a part of me that recognized that this physical world is not the only thing there is. That this physical world is a vehicle and a channel to express my soul, to express my G-dliness, that I want all of my needs to be met because I want to give back to the world. Because I have a purpose here. Because my life is not self-serving. Because it's not just about me. I can use everything I'm given as an opportunity to give to Hashem, as an opportunity to express my G-dly soul, as an opportunity to uplift my surroundings, to do a Mitzvah, to elevate the sparks, to just make this world a better place.
There's a beautiful teaching from Chazal that talks about the beauty of Mincha. And the Lubavitcher Rebbe explains in a sicha that Mincha is actually the pinnacle of Tefillah. Because amidst the chaos of your day, you're bringing that clarity that we're describing back in full force. You're calling in the reinforcements.
Yitzchak is the one who davened the first Mincha. Because Yitzchak is Tzchok Asa Li Elokim. Hashem made for me a joy. Because the truest joy comes from amidst the mundanity. Comes from the afternoon, in the chaos, when I'm able to stop and connect to Hashem. That's the truest joy. Being able to tap into the clarity when I'm deep in the physical world. Being able to tap into the clarity of what the entire physical world is for. That the physical world is here. To channel the spiritual reality.
And though it seems like the physical world is just a shell, and though it seems like the physical world is covering up the deeper meaning of the world, it's actually just waiting for the human being to use it as a catalyst, as an expression, as a mouthpiece for the spiritual world.
At the end of Yishtabach, which is the end of Pesukei Dizimra, a section of davening where we praise Hashem. Baruch Sheamar, Ashrei, Hallelukas, Az Yashir etc, we say Habocher Bishirei Zimrah, which is usually translated as, "He, Hashem, who takes pleasure in songs of praise."
And the Kotzker Rebbe notes that it's not such a close translation. He says the translation is Habocher. He chooses. Hashem chooses. Bishirei ZImrah. Remnants of song. Because the song to Hashem is beautiful. The song of Tefillah. The song of the complete clarity that we might experience a couple times throughout our lives, that we might experience a couple times throughout our week, a couple times throughout our day. Hopefully once every morning. That is beautiful. The experience of Tefillah, the experience of clarity, the experience of really being in dialogue with Hashem, that song to Hashem is beautiful. But Hashem chooses the remnants of song. Bishirei Zimrah. It is the remnants of song that we carry with us throughout our day that really transforms us. That really allows us to make choices. That transform the physical world from being a shell to being a channel and a catalyst for the spiritual reality of the world. It's not the song itself. It's the remnants of song that we carry with us.
The Tanya talks about the Reshima, the imprint of prayer that stays in us throughout the day. The Beinoni leaves prayer. But prayer does not leave her. There is always this moment within her that she can tap into as the day becomes consuming. There's a Rishima. There's an imprint. There's a remnant. There's an echo. There's a memory. We can tap into the memory of that clarity, the memory of that prayer and allow that memory to carry us throughout the day.
Now, we're going to take the Lubavitcher Rebbe's favorite tefillah, and explore the deeper Chassidic meaning behind it. As we said, each tefillah is an opportunity to tap into the clarity of the soul. When we learn the deeper meaning of a prayer, it allows us to understand what our soul is trying to express. And also, to listen for G-d's response.
What was the Lubavitcher Rebbe's favorite tefillah? We know that answer from a young, curious boy. Nachum Stillerman's father owned a grocery store and he used to deliver groceries to the Rebbe's mother, Rebbetzin Chana. He describes her as being warm and joyful. When he would bring the groceries, she would offer him a drink and they would talk. Once, he asked the Rebbetzin, "What is the Rebbe's favorite prayer?" He says, "He wondered what the most important tefillah was so he could know which prayer he should recite with total concentration." She told him, "All of the prayers are important. But, you know, there must be one that is maybe more important than the rest. I don't know what that is for the Rebbe. But the next time he is here, I will ask him on your behalf."
The following week, when he delivered her groceries, she told him that she had the answer to his question. "The rebbe's favorite tefillah is a very short prayer," she said. "It's the very first prayer we say in the morning. Modeh Ani Lefanecha. I give thanks before You. Living and everlasting King that You have restored my soul to me with compassion. Great is Your faithfulness."
Such a short prayer, but it packs a punch. A year later, Nachum describes hearing the Rebbe give a talk on the subject of Modeh ani and explaining that the message of this prayer is that G-d has a
lot of faith in us. So, let's rise to the occasion.
How do we know that He has a lot of faith in us? Because He gave us another day of life, even though He doesn't owe it to us. Modeh Ani, the first Tefillah we say when we open our eyes in the morning. Each day's entrance into a relationship with Hashem. This simple prayer was the Lubavitcher Rebbe's favorite.
Thank You for giving me another day of life. Your faith in me is great.
[Musical Interlude]
In Kuntres Inyanim Shel Torah HaChassidus, the Lubavitcher Rebbe takes the Tefillah of Modeh Ani and uses it to show us how Chassidus penetrates to the essence of Torah. Today, we are going to go through four explanations of Modeh Ani; Peshat, Remez, Drush and Sod. And then we will illuminate each explanation with the overarching meaning of Modeh Ani according to Chassidus.
Chassidus says, "What's the essence of Modeh Ani?" Yechida. Let's think about what happens when we say Modeh Ani. It happens before we wash Negal Vasser. When, according to the Torah, our hands are ritually unclean. But it's because all the impurities of the world cannot contaminate the Modeh Ani of a Jew.
Why not? Why don't we say Modeh Ani after we get out of bed? After we wash Negal Vasser? After we have entered into a state of awakeness and purity? Because at the level of the Yechida of a person, which is connected to the essence of G-d, there is no room for impurity. This is why Modeh Ani does not have G-d's name in it, because we are speaking from the part of ourselves that connects to G-d's essence. The part of G-d that literally transcends names.
Let's read Modeh Ani together. Modeh Ani Lefanecha Melech Chai Vekayam Shehechezarta Bi Nishmasi Bichemlah Rabah Emunasecha. I thank You, living and eternal King, for You have restored my soul within me with mercy. Raba Emunasecha. How great is your faithfulness.
We don't see the name of G-d anywhere in Modeh Ani. It is said before we wash Negal Vasser, before we enter into the purity of the day, because Modeh Ani represents the Yechida of a Jew, the essence of a Jew that is always connected. In between sleep and awakeness, we say Modeh Ani. We acknowledge the fact that we are eternally connected with G-d. That there is a part of us that is connected to Him in a way that transcends names, that transcends our purity or impurity, a part of ourselves that is just always simply irreversibly connected.
The Modeh Ani is about a soul, stripped bare, connecting to G-d without any layers. Let's look at four explanations in the Torah; Peshat, Remez, Drush and Sod, and see how this perspective of Yechida will transform the way we look at Modeh Ani.
So, the Peshat, the simple explanation of Modeh Ani, is that we give thanks to G-d for having restored our soul within us. Shehechezarta Bi Nishmasi. Thank You for restoring my soul within me. Thank You for restoring my life. I went to bed last night, lost consciousness. And now You have woken me up this morning and given me another day.
Even though later in the morning we will say Elokai Neshema, we want to thank G-d right away. The minute we wake up, the minute He restores our lives to us, we want to say thank You.
According to Chassidus, from the perspective of the Yechida, the emphasis here is on the word Nishmasi. Neshema Sheli. My soul. Thank You, G-d, not just for restoring my physical life, but for restoring my spiritual life as a Jew.
Yes, my physical life is important. But if you would have brought me back to life with a different essence, stripped of my Yechida, I would not say thank You. Because the only life worth living is a life of soul.
The analogy that the Rebbe gives is that if a prince would be offered a life torn away from his father, the king, and put to work among stable men, he would hate it. The same is true with a Jew. We thank Hashem for giving us back life because we recognize that life is all about connecting to Torah and Mitzvahs. Connecting to G-d. Without that, life doesn't feel worth living.
The Alter Rebbe wanted to give R’ Yekusiel Lepler, who was a great Chasid, a blessing for a long life. And R’ Yekusiels reply was, "But not with peasant years, who have eyes and do not see, ears and do not hear, who do not see or hear the divine." How could he make a condition for such a wonderful blessing, long life. Because to him, extra days were meaningless if they were not living days. Meaning to him, life was only worthwhile if it meant being able to see, hear and connect to G-d. Without that, it wouldn't be considered existence to him. He wouldn't want such days.
Where does this come from? Human beings crave life of any kind. But on the level of Yechida, in our innermost essence, our souls feel that there is no significance to anything in this world but G-d. On all the other levels there is subtle room for life without seeing G-d.
But not at the level of the Yechida. At the level of our innermost soul. The part of ourselves that we connect to when we say Modeh Ani in the morning, before we wash Negal Vasser, before we get out of bed. Without G-d's name is the part of us that says, "Thank You, Hashem, for restoring my soul within me. Shehechezarta Bi Nishmasi. My soul. My Jewish soul. My spiritual life. My opportunity to connect to You. Thank You for giving back. Thank You for giving me a life worth living. Thank You for returning the opportunity to have a life of soul.
[Musical Interlude]
The next explanation of Modeh Ani is the level of Remez. And in Modeh Ani we say, "Shehechezarta Bi Nishmasi, Rabah Emunasecha. You have returned my soul within me. Therefore, I have faith that You will also do Techias Hamaisim. The resurrection of the dead that will happen when Moshiach comes."
Sleep is called 1/60th of death. Therefore, waking up is like a resurrection. And being resurrected this morning renews my faith that this will happen when Moshiach comes. Renews my faith that there will be Techias Hameisim in the future. That You will bring those who have passed back to life.
Now, Chassidus asks the question, "The illusion to Techias Hameisim, to the resurrection of the dead, seems a bit far-fetched here." Considering that when a person wakes up after sleeping, it's only 1/60th of death. And we are simply reconnecting body and soul.
Whereas, at the time of Techias Hameisim, we are taught that the body will have to be reconstructed from the Luz bone. Because the body will have disintegrated into the Earth and will literally need to be reconstructed in order to be brought back to life. And we also understand from this that since the body and soul are very connected, if the body is going to undergo such a fundamental change, the soul, too, is going to undergo a change.
The act of the resurrection of the dead is a lot more dramatic and a lot more of a process than just reconnecting body and soul in the morning. 1/60th of death is not quite the same thing as literally reconstructing a body from its disintegration in the earth.
Chassidus explains that at every instance, the world is constantly being brought into existence anew. Even though this happens at every moment of the day, that we are being created and recreated and recreated again by G-d, it's easiest to access it as human beings in the morning when we can feel our body being regenerated. There's a feeling of renewal that we feel in the morning. And we could tap into that awareness that we are being renewed and restored.
Every morning, a person becomes a new being. And also, every moment, a person becomes a new being. We think that the fact that I existed an hour ago, and the fact that I exist right now and the fact that I will exist in an hour is all just a static state that I am in.
But in reality, every single moment of our existence is G-d completely regenerating us, completely reconstructing us. Giving us a new rebirth at every single moment. At the level of Yechida, our souls are conscious of our extreme dependence on G-d. Of the fact that every moment is a renewal. Every moment is a rebirth. Every moment is a complete regeneration.
Saying these words in the morning, "Shehechezarta Bi Nishmati," gives us something to tap into throughout the day. To remember the same way G-d renewed me this morning, He is renewing me at every single moment. I am not in the world by mistake. Every second that I am here is a conscious act of G-d.
[Musical Interlude]
Now, let's look at the explanation of Drush. The last two words of Modeh Ani say Rabah Emunasecha. How great is Your faithfulness. And according to the explanation of Drush, we are saying here, "You returned my soul to me even though I still owe You. I haven't quite earned another day of life in Your beautiful world. And yet, here I am. How great is Your faithfulness. G-d returned my soul that I entrusted Him with and did not withhold it, despite the debts I might owe Him."
And from this, we learn that we, too, should not withhold something that someone entrusted us with? Even if he owes us money. Even if he is indebted to us in some way.
Chassidus asks the obvious question, "Why shouldn't you hold something of someone else's if they owe you money?"It seems like the logical thing to do. Someone owes you money. They entrust something to you. And you say, "Until you return the money, I will not return this to you."
Chassidus tells us, “ Listen. Even Mitzvahs that have a reasoning to them are not done for their reason, but because it is the Divine will." Most of us can explain not killing another person. But when it becomes a mitzvah in the Torah, even if we ever lived in an age where they could morally justify killing, we would still be connected to this mitzvah. We don't hold back from killing simply because we understand it to be immoral.
We also hold back from killing because this is what G-d tells us to do. The purpose of a mitzvah is the mitzvah itself.
On all the other levels of the soul, which are dependent on a more particular form, this doesn't make sense. How can I do something that does not seem logical to me? How can I return something to someone if they owe me money? It is only on the level of Yechida, the most essential part of us, which doesn't hold grudges of its own. It's the part of ourselves that is so spiritual. That is not limited by the world.
That part of us understands that attachment to G-d is for the sake of divinity alone. That we can do something simply for the sake of G-d's will. Hashem doing this irrational kindness to us in the morning. Restoring our soul to us even though we haven't earned it. Giving us another beautiful day in the world even though we might not deserve it teaches us that we, too, can give things to others, can give to the world, even if we don't think they've earned it. Even if we don't think they deserve it. Because when something is a mitzvah, it doesn't have to make sense.
We are attaching ourselves to G-d's will. We are recognizing that even if by our own estimation it does not make sense to return the object when someone owes us the money, we see the kindness that G-d does to us every morning. Giving us life even when we don't earn it. And we recognize that we can give that same unconditional energy and love to the world and to other people, guided by the mitzvos.
[Musical Interlude]
All right. Now we are going to get a little Kabbalistic. Let's look at the fourth word of Modeh Ani. We say Modeh Ani Lefanecha. I give thanks before You. Melech Chai Vekayam. Living and internal King.These words, Melech Chai Vekayam, according to the explanation of Sod, refers to the divine attribute of Malchus as it is united with the attribute of Yesod. Melech, Malchus. Chai Vikayam, Yesod.
Malchus is kingship, and it's the element of divinity that is expressed in our world. And Yesod is foundation, which carries all the other Sefiros and blends them into Malchus. Yesod comes right before Malchus.
Every morning, we say, "Melech Chai Vekayam, living and eternal King, who has restored my soul within me." Meaning that the restoration of my soul that happened this morning comes from the level of Malchus uniting with the level of Yesod. This union between Malchus and Yesod is responsible for the restoration of my soul. Melech Chai Vekayam.
Now, what does that mean that your soul is restored to you from the union of Malchus and Yesod? Well, let's break it down a little further. Malchus is the level of divinity, which is related to our world. And therefore, time and space apply. That's why Malchus is the faculty of creation. Yesod is the level of divinity above our world.
In all divine attributes before Malchus, time and space don't exist. The union of Malchus and
Yesod is the revelation of the light of Ein Sof that transcends our worlds. It is the union of the infinite light with the vessel that contains it.
In order for something to be restored in this world, like my soul, it has to happen through Malchus, which is creation. It has to happen through a container, through a vessel. But Malchus, on its own, doesn't have the ability to create. It's simply the manifestation of creation. It needs to work together with another divine attribute.
Waking up in the morning, your soul being restored to you. This happens through the unity of Yesod and Malchus. This happens through the unity of the transcendent level of G-d that does not fit into this world. And the creative level of G-d, Malchus, which is the divine attribute of a physical world. The fact that your soul was restored to you was not a chill situation. There was a lot going on in the spiritual realms. It was Hashem Himself, His essence. The part of Himself that transcends time and space. Giving you back your soul. Returning His spiritual energy and life force into the physical container and creation of your body.
At the level of Yechida, we are connected to the part of G-d that transcends limitations. Every Jew has this Yechida within them. We are also physical beings. Every Jew comes from the essence of Ein Sof, which was brought down into physical creation.
When we wake up in the morning and we say, "Melech Chai Vekayam,” living and eternal King who has restored my soul within me. We say, "The essence of Ein Sof was united with creation."
Yesod and Malchus had to unite, had to work together in order to bring my soul back into my body. In order to bring the essence of G-d's light into the physical creation of my world.
[Musical Interlude]
I want to take you through a Modeh Ani meditation based on everything we just spoke about. I want to ground all these explanations, Peshat, Remez, Drush, Yesod, Yechida. I want to ground it into your actual experience of waking up in the morning. So that, possibly, tomorrow morning, you might be able to tap back into this information that we're discussing here in your own body, in your experience of actually waking up into a physical world.
Come with me. Close your eyes. I'm going to take you to that first moment in the morning when you just open your eyes and are about to say Modeh Ani.
Your alarm rings, or you hear your child calling out to you from the other room. Or you wake up when your body rouses you. When you feel the sun streaming on your face. Your limbs feel heavy. Your mouth is dry. You are somewhere between awake consciousness and sleep.
You just woke up. You are stripped to your essence, to your Yechida. You have not yet assumed your life's identities. Your day's masks. Mother, wife, professional, friend. Right now, it is just you in your essence. Bare soul, waking back up into its body. You sit up. You pull your hands together. Modeh ani lefanecha. I say thank You before You. Melech Chai Vekayam. Living and eternal King. Shehechezarta Bi Nishmasi Bichemlah. You have restored my soul within me with mercy. Rabah Emunasecha. Your faith in me is great.
Sod; Hashem Himself was involved in returning my soul to my body. Drush; Even though I did not earn the gift of another day. Remez; You create me anew at every single moment. My awakening this morning was Your conscious choice. Peshat; You have restored my soul within me. The only life worth living is a life connected to my soul.
You take a deep breath. When you stand, the day's demands will come rushing out at you. The kids need to eat breakfast and get sent off to school. Your boss sent you an email. You have a to-do list, a job, a life to tend to. But for a moment in the morning, you were just you in your essence. Bare Yechida. Soul being restored into your unique body with its own unique joys and stressors. With its own unique purpose, too.
When the day becomes overwhelming, can you revisit this moment? This gratitude for life. This intimate conversation with the Divine. Can you come back to the gift of another day given? You're being recreated in this world at every moment. Hashem Himself, breathing life into your body, and the opportunity at every moment to live a life of soul.
___
I want to end off with a beautiful story of the Baal Shem Tov, which was told over to us by the Magid of Mezritch and then written down by the Frierdiker Rebbe. The Baal Shem Tov was known to be really connected to the simple Jews of his time. This was unique for a spiritual leader at the time. Scholarship and spiritual immersion was what was valued in the Jewish world. And those Jews who were cobblers, gardeners, shepherds, merchants, regular people, some of them illiterate, were not really given a lot of respect as being so spiritually connected.
But the Baal Shem Tov saw something in these simple Jews that moved him incredibly. And he made it his mission to connect with them, to bring them close, to celebrate them. And a lot of his philosophy is about the essence of Judaism that the simple Jews were able to access.
The Baal Shem Tov used to send some of the more scholarly students that were his disciples to learn from these simple Jews. He would send them to their homes to learn about Emunah, Bitachon, Ahavas Yisroel, faith, trust, love of other Jews. Really basic values in Judaism.
Now, one Shabbos, the Baal Shem Tov was having guests at his house, which was his regular custom. And there was one meal that he had the really spiritually serious scholarly students alongside everyone else, alongside the merchants, the shepherds, the regular simple people.
And at these meals, the Baal Shem Tov would show great love to these simple people. He would really give them extra attention. Give wine from his own cup. Be open and kind with them and really express his love and affection for them and their place in Judaism
The next day, he had a meal just for his really close students. The Tzadikim, the scholars. Those who were really spiritually immersed. Those who had time throughout the week to study Torah. To be committed. To be really immersed in G-dliness. The students are sitting by this meal. The Baal Shem Tov was teaching Torah. He was in a very uplifted mood. And a couple of them were thinking and comparing the meal to the one that had happened the night before. And just thinking to themselves like, "This is the ideal way to be at the Baal Shem Tov's house." The mood is spiritual. The Baal Shem Tov is teaching Torah. There's an elevated atmosphere. Everyone appreciates the depth of what's going on. "This is how it should be."
Meanwhile, all the regular folk who were not at this meal were sitting in the Baal Shem Tov's shul saying Tehillim. And as all the students are thinking this, essentially thinking to themselves, "We're kind of better off without all the illiterate Jews, or the simple Jews, or those who don't have such a great education. It's better to be by the Baal Shem Tov, just us, just those of us who could really connect to what's going on.
As they were thinking this, the Baal Shem Tov's face suddenly became very serious. He closed his eyes. He began to sing niggunim to himself. And then he opened his eyes and told each student to put his right arm on the shoulder of a friend. They're all sitting around the table and they essentially formed a circle between them.
Once they all put their hands on each other, He told them to sing a few niggunim. And when they finished, he said they should close their eyes and not open them until he tells them to.
And then the Baal Shem Tov completed the circle. As soon as he did that, they immediately started hearing what was going on in the Baal Shem Tov's shul. They immediately started hearing the scene of all these simple Jews, sitting in the Baal Shem Tov's shul and singing.
The Frierdiker Rebbe writes, " These beautiful voices were singing a gorgeous song that made the soul tremble." The people there were singing Tehillim with beauty and sincerity. Words of Tehillim interspersed with words and Yiddish calling out to G-d.
I'll read some for you because it's really powerful. They were saying “Tatteh Hartziker. Chaneini Elokim Chaneini.” Or “Oy Gevald, Ziser Fatser in Himmel.Yakum Elokim Yafutzu Oyvav.” Words of Tehillim interspersed with Tayere Tatteh. Calling out to G-d in the most authentic, pure, sincere, personal way. And all the Chassidim, all the scholars sitting around the table with the Baal Shem Tov, who just a minute ago were thinking, "It's a good thing the simple Jews are not here. It's nicer to have a more elevated atmosphere with a little less chaos, a little less chit-chat. More Torah. More spirituality.”
They were suddenly transported to hear the song of prayer of these simple Jews and they all began crying. The Magid says of this experience, “I heard those Yidden saying Tehillim, and I had never experienced or witnessed such a powerful love for Hashem." He says, "My clothing was wet with sweat and tears from my own Teshuvah Pnimius. My own inner return from watching the way these simple Jews said Tehillim."
The Baal Shem Tov took his hands off, broke the circle, and told the Chassidim to open their eyes. And they sang a few niggunim. And then he said, "The song and melody that you heard is the song and melody of simple Jews who are saying Tehillim from the depths of their heart with simple faith.”
Tell me, what song do you sing to G-d? What simple prayers do you offer throughout the day in all your in-between moments. When life sends you to the dance floor and when life brings you to your knees? Can you allow yourself to be the simple Jew calling out to G-d? Can you allow yourself to believe that this calling is so precious to Him? And can you allow yourself to lean in and listen for G-d's response?
[Outro Song]
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, take a quick second to leave a rating or a review. It means a lot to me and it helps other people find the podcast. And if you really loved it and this episode really resonated with you, then I want to invite you to share it with a friend who you think might love it, too.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, the Human & Holy Resource Center is live. Visit humanandholy.com to shop our limited edition Tefillah collection. If you want to find out more about each item, visit the podcast episode titled The Human & Holy Resource Center, where I take you through the process of all four of the items in our Tefillah collection. I talk about their backstory and how they can each be really powerful resources to help you enhance your experience of prayer.
Thank you for listening, and I hope you have a wonderful day.